What Blocks Self-Transformation?

To begin exploring the topic of self-transformation, it is important to note why most of us resist it in the first place.

As a general rule, our egos are impervious to hints of insufficiency. For that reason, it is important to understand how our egos get in the way of our innate potential for growth and wholeness, which entails ego transcendence and adaptability at its core.

Ironically, the circumstantial suffering we may be experiencing is amplified when we resist the introspection required, thereby depriving us the ability for self-transformation and adaptability.

Suffering is therefore a necessary but not sufficient condition for self-transformation.

A commitment to Truth is the indispensable missing piece. Although such openness requires us to accept things about ourselves, others, and situations, we may wish to repel, it will, in the final analysis, prove to be the only healthy path forward.

 One of the main problems is that in the face of suffering, we by default rely on habitual modes of response due to their familiarity. Instead of contriving a new approach based on a more elaborate view of reality, we instinctively try to fit our current views onto the world, impeding on the potential for personal growth.

Three Main Reactions To Suffering That Block Self-Transformation:

1. Obsession with self image and our persona, obsessive behaviors (i.e. drugs, consumerists, gaming etc.)

2. Indulging in the suffering (adopting a victimhood status)

3. Make others suffer (vengefulness, hostility, aggressiveness)

These responses block our potential to gain any insight from our suffering.

Other Unhealthy Reactions:

1. Explosive anger

2. Inhibited anger

3. Fear

4. Arrogance

5. Hyper rationality

6. Adopting an overly conservative approach to life

The monitoring of the above mentioned symptoms opens the space for growth and personal responsibility. 

When we find ourselves acting out any of these phenomena, we can ask the following questions:

• What is it about the situation that made me react in such a manner?

• What am I not ready to accept about the situation?

• Am I blaming the wrong person?

• How would I have liked to behave in such a situation?

• What can I learn about myself that I’ve been ignoring?

• What is the personal cost of my continuing this type of behavioral response?

• How can I cultivate the ability to remain in control despite feeling triggered?

Answering these questions with honest intent will allow you to broaden your understanding of your familiar response patterns to stressors, allow you to deconstruct these patterns, and move you towards a place of conscious reconstruction. 

Expect initial resistance, but the habit of continuously probing in this manner will become the central feature of your character and the underlying mechanism by which self-transformation will become inevitable.  

The result of indulging in unexamined modes of behavior becomes exponentially costly on our well-being, detrimental to our relationships, and overall toxic to ourselves and others.